We try to keep that happy energy as the constant in this house although it isn't always possible. The kids go from happy to sad and back to happy like any other kid but when I get sad it takes a while to get me out of there. We were at hospital today and I found out Alex's exact end day for treatment - March 3rd, 2015. If all stays the same this will be her last chemo which is only four months away but I've had February in mind since the start since it was 25 months from diagnosis and she got sick in Jan. 2013. After trying to be ok with a March end date the dietitians came to visit Alex at our chair and wanted to hear all about Alex's diet. They had tracked her weight and her BMI is at 95 percentile which means she is obese and wanted to talk to me about ways I can get her to eat healthier.
I don't think either of these women knows what it means to have a kid on steroids... because they are hungry all the time and they want salty food to counteract the chemo. I hear this from all the other moms. What these kids want are hot dogs, french fries etc... It isn't the first time I worry about her eating habits but to be told she is obese is a whole other level and the word itself is knifing through my happy energy.
I recently learned that in Bhutan they have something called GNH - Gross National Happiness (The objective of GNH is to achieve a balanced development in all facets of life which is essential to our happiness. - See more at: http://www.gnhbhutan.org).
I love this.. how is it that the rest of the world hasn't caught on to this and made GNH as opposed to GNP the way to determine success? I have drank the cool-aid and in this house I measure our days with the Bhutanese metric ;) Throughout this ordeal I have learned to value what really matters in life and frankly I think I do a good job at staying focused and not worrying about the nonsense that usually fills our days with endless worries. Alex hasn't had it easy but she has championed through it all with a smile and so I try to do the same but my smile sometimes fades bringing down the "happiness quotient" of our home. I know Alex will come out of this strong but I still get bogged down by the looks she gets on the street, or comments about her hair and now someone labeling her obese. Alex doesn't understand these labels or the perplexed looks so none of it bothers her and I wish I too could be oblivious to is all. I wish I could stay in our little bubble where happiness is king and just be happy but it is hard sometimes and today is one of those days. Maybe in the distant future I can visit Bhutan and learn how to master living life with happiness as a key factor and not societal judgments or labels.